Stumbling onto a Former Me

Me, looking skeptical in 2006

Recently I received an automated email informing me that due to neglect, my LiveJournal account will soon be deleted...
LiveJournal!? What the Hell is that!? That must have been like 10 years ago... Well, my last entry was 2006 so seven years actually. There's something so strange about stumbling onto journal entries from the past. They usually contain reminders of things you've forgotten about -- people you no longer interact with, places you no longer go, activities you no longer participate in. It's like putting on an old pair of pants that don't quite fit anymore. Here's an entry I wrote back in the summer of 2006 while I was living in Tennessee with my parents, after I had just gotten my wisdom teeth removed:  


So here I am. I don't even know why I'm doing this, I hate online journals and the like. It just seems like an excuse to talk about oneself in an attempt to get everyone's sympathy/attention/envy/whatever. But I don't know, I'm aware my cynicism is reaching a dangerous level (aw, everyone feel sorry for me), so maybe I should just cool it and give you a report on my day. 

I woke up at a decent time this morning (9:30ish) to get ready for my visit to the oral surgeon. Unfortunately, I couldn't eat or drink anything 6 hours before my 11:00 appointment, so a full hour was way too much time for just a shower, but oh well. Regardless of too much time, I was late to the appointment on account of traffic (of course), but eventually got to the office five minutes after the hour and was immediately led to the chair of death. Actually, it wasn't that bad at all. They even gave me a blanket to keep me snug as a bug in my chemically-induced sleep. How sweet. The nurse placed heart monitors on my chest and hip as I commented on how sleepy I was already, not being able to consume my habitual morning coffee. She then put a mask over my face, saying, "we're going to go ahead and give you some laughing gas just to make you more relaxed" and we continued to make friendly conversation on the topic of caffeine until the surgeon came in the room. "You all ready to get this over with?" he asked. I'm sure I responded with something overly enthusiastic, but I can't remember. The last thing I can remember was him asking for my arm to insert the IV, accompanied by a comment on what "lovely veins" I had. That player. 

I honestly can't remember anything else until I was waking up about 45 minutes later with a mouth full of gauze (shudder) and a slightly swollen jaw. And before I really knew what was happening, I started crying. It was actually really funny because I wasn't in pain, I wasn't really all that confused, it just sort of happened. And it wasn't crying so much as it was me blinking and a light rain shower developing over the eyes and moving south to the chin area... which I couldn't feel, thanks to the Novocain. The nurse allowed my mother in and the two of them sat by my side, asking if I was okay in a soothing motherly tone until the surgeon came back in to wipe away my tears. I swear to God, he wiped away my tears (but I don't remember it... I also just barely remember informing my mother not to worry about me being emotional and that "I cry when I drink too much" to which she responded with a laugh and a "really? I didn't know that." I said, "well, you aren't supposed to know that." Smooooth. Apparently, the stuff they gave me made me rather talkative because I also remember my mother later saying, "why don't you just lie there and try not to talk." So the highlight of my day was getting my wisdom teeth removed. Booo. Well... that, and Vicodin. Ooh, and vanilla pudding. Okay, so it turns out I'm kind of sad, but whatever. Because right now, I've got a warm kitty on my feet, ice cream in my belly, and a Jacob Marley's Ghost-looking ice pack strapped to my jaw... which is more than you can say, my friend... more than you can say.

February Second Saturday Craftacular - Feb. 9th in Houston

Do you have your Valentines all squared away and ready to go? Yeah, me neither. But come to this awesome love-themed show and you won't have to think twice about what to get your sweetie. The Second Saturday Craftacular at Hello-Lucky promises to showcase an eclectic array of loveliness that will have you oohing and ahhing just in time for Valentine's Day. I'll have a bunch of new bookboard jewelry designs, as well as a few new art prints and hand stamped notecards. Don't miss it!!!

February Second Saturday Craftacular
"Hearts Were Sliding Everywhere"

When: Feb 9, 2013

Time: 12:00 pm - 4:00 pm

Location: Hello-Lucky

(1025 Studewood Street, Houston, Texas 77008) 
Cost: Free

For more info:
Official Event Page
Facebook Page

Fun with Layouts

The people at Groupon have such fun...

...I mean c'mon, there is NO way the creation of that ghoulish face is unintentional.

Envious of Cold

It being October and living in Houston, I find myself increasingly nostalgic for cold weather. Changing leaves, the scents of cinnamon and wood-smoke, the brisk morning air that requires a sweater or light-weight scarf. I think I actually got a little teary-eyed while staring at the L.L. Bean homepage today. I mean, c'mon. This screams "Autumn":

...Look at those guys with their bikes, in their sweaters, feeling crisp and cozy. They probably just had pumpkin spice lattes, too. Sigh.

A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Whole Foods

Okay so I lied. It didn't happen on the way to the Whole Foods, it happened AT the Whole Foods. But it happened, all the same.

I always feel like I have weird interactions with the checkout people. Today was no exception. So I do my shopping. It's a super hot day, by the way, so you'll have to imagine me all gross and sweaty-browed. Oh! And unable to move half of my face on account of a visit to the dentist this morning. 

I get to the checkout and the checkout guy starts making small talk (as they always do at Whole Foods... it kind of annoys me). It's not that I don't like friendliness, it's just sort of... creepy... when total strangers ask you what you plan to make for dinner based on the ingredients you've just purchased. It sometimes makes me feel compelled to purchase the most absurd list of ingredients I could possibly think of. But then I would have a giant sea bass, a gallon of maple syrup, and a bulk supply of feminine hygiene products on my hands. We talk about how hot it is and how the city of Houston makes it borderline impossible for people to get around on foot -- The sidewalks suck (where there are sidewalks at all), and there are huge stretches along sidewalk routes with zero shade. Smart for 95º weather (and that's on a cool day.) But anyway, we're chatting and I start getting self conscious about the fact that there is a huge line of people forming behind me. But the checkout guy is really not moving very quickly and anytime I make a comment, he stops scanning my groceries and pays really close attention to what I'm saying. I guess out of politeness? At this point, it's important to note that I have brought my own bags to the store and I notice he isn't filling them. Before I know it, I've paid and everything and he starts to get out paper bags. Before he fully opens the first bag I cut him off by saying, "Oh, I brought my own" and he replies with an apologetic, "Ohhh, sorry. I noticed you had your own, I guess I just forgot." So to speed things along I help him bag my groceries, and when he puts the last item into the bag he sort of raises his hand in this weird, unexpected way. 

So I give him a high-five and say "good job."

I HIGH-FIVED THE CHECKOUT GUY AND TOLD HIM "GOOD JOB!" As if he were a little kid or something. He laughs, but it quickly becomes obvious to me that he had not raised his hand with the intention of high-fiving anyone. But it was too late, the damage had been done. In a desperate effort to be really casual about it, I add, "cool, have a nice day." I'm sure that un-weirded everything.

Houston Japan Fest 2012

This past weekend, Ben and I went to the Houston Japan Fest with our friend from college, Akira. Although it was suuuuuper hot, it was a beautiful day and I even got to eat some seaweed salad (one of my most favorite things on the planet... I know, weird.)

Beautiful Hermann Park

A delicious yogurt drink that was sneakily good!

Who doesn't love a good sausage on a stick?

Seaweed salad!

Mmm, beef bowl.

Koi!

This is the kind of day it's been...

SOMEONE is Making it Hard to Get Work Done

Hello, Monday

Ugh. Mondays. Also, Benny has been sick the last few days so I've been trying extra hard not to catch what he has (we've even been sleeping in separate rooms like a 1940s married couple.) Last night he was like, "you know, I think I'm almost over this thing." So I figured what the heck, and moved back into our bedroom. Wouldn't you know it, this morning I awoke with a swollen throat and sniffles. Blergh!

Anyway, here's a little guest who stopped by this morning to say 'Happy Monday'...

All the Good Ones are Taken

Since moving to Houston, I have become painfully aware of the crappy public transportation system here. Granted I'm coming from Chicago which, despite all the bitching and moaning I heard about the CTA while I was there, was really quite a fantastic way to get around... especially for someone with a fear of driving. Yeah, okay I admit it. Just the other night I said to Ben, "Hey, I know this is sort of after the fact, but could you please refrain from announcing to total strangers and partygoers that I can't drive and don't have a license? I'm really sensitive about it and it makes me feel like a freak." I didn't mention it then, but it also brought to mind that moment in Clueless when Cher tells Tai that she doesn't think she and Josh "mesh well" and Tai bitterly responds by reminding Cher that she shouldn't be listening to her advice anyway since she's "a virgin who can't drive." Waaaay harsh.

But hey it's a real phobia! And look, this somewhat credibility-lacking article claims that "Fear of driving is probably one of the most common phobias nowadays." Phew (btw, I love that 'probably' in there... you know, just in case it's not at all common and I am, in fact, a freak.)
But anyway this isn't about my fear of driving. It's about a little encounter I had while waiting at the bus stop. Apparently, all you need to do to find a hot date in this city is wait for the #34...

It's a pleasantly cool Houston morning, I'm the only person waiting at the bus stop. I'm going to a fitness class I signed up for and of course, the bus is taking FOREVER to get here. I check my phone, then put it away. I take my phone out again, look at the time, then put it away. I take my phone out, no new messages, put it away. Take out my phone and call the studio to tell them I'm on my way, but might be a couple of minutes late. I'm told this is no problem, as it looks like I'm the only one signed up for the class, so it'll probably be one-on-one. This is both reassuring and a little terrifying. Cars are speeding past (Montrose is a busy street), when I see a shiny red sports car drive past me, slow down just slightly, then turn down the side street to park in the parking lot less than 10 feet behind me. I think nothing of it, then hear someone open a car door and yell...

Dude: Hey, excuse me.
[assuming he's talking to someone else, I make no response]
Dude: [louder] Excuse me?
Me: [turns around] Yes?
Dude: ...You here for breakfast?
{Yeah, I'm waiting at the bus stop for fucking breakfast, what???}
Me: Uh... I'm sorry?
Dude: Are you getting breakfast here? [points to a restaurant across the street]
Me: Ohh, no. [turns back around]
Dude: ...Have you had breakfast?
{groooooan}
Me: [turns around] Yep.
Dude: You already had breakfast?
Me: Yes, I already had breakfast.
Dude: Okay okay, I don't want to make you uncomfortable.
Me: No, it's cool, I've just already had breakfast.
Dude: So, you heading to work?
Me: Nope.
Dude: ...Going to class?
Me: [hesitates, nods head]
Dude: You a student?
Me: [sigh] Nooo.
Dude: .......Going to a yoga class?
{The truth is, I'm going to a 'chair dancing' class at a pole dancing studio, but I somehow rethink the need to be 100% honest in favor of saving myself from an increasingly awkward conversation about sensual dance.}
Me: Yeah.
Dude: Yeah? I've been wanting to take a yoga class, or pilates or something.
Me: Yeah? You should, it's fun.
Dude: Yeah, but I just don't have the time for it. I work a lot, I'm in the oil industry, and I travel quite a bit for work, so it's hard to sign up for classes.
Me: Yeah. You could do it at home, like rent videos? Or do you have Netflix?
Dude: Nahhh, plus I really need the instruction [chuckles]. I mean, if I don't even know what leg goes where, I don't think I could handle video instruction.
Me: Ha ha, yeahhh [nods]. Hmm.
Dude: So is the class far? How'd you hear about it?
Me: Uh, it's up on like, Dallas? I don't know, I think I yelped it.
Dude: How long you been going there?
Me: Not that long, I actually just moved here.
Dude: Oh yeah?! Where from?
Me: Chicago.
Dude: Oh wow, I love Chicago. I've been there a bunch for work.
Me: Yeah it's great, I really miss it.
Dude: I've never spent more than a couple days there, but it seems cool.
Me: Oh yeah, there's always a lot going on, and it's really easy to get around there, especially without a car. Definitely miss that.
Dude: Oh yeah, man. You kind of need a car here. The bus sucks.
Me: [raises eyebrows and nods, knowingly]
Dude: I went to that one hotel, the one that's like, right on that main stretch along the lake. It's been there since the 1800s or something, it's really old...
Me: Uh, I don't know... It's on Michigan?
Dude: Yeah, it's along the lake... oh! The Drake?
Me: Oh, yeah The Drake.
Dude: Yeah, I went there, sat at the bar, had a drink in one hand, felt all classy. It was cool. The waiter told me I needed to get me one of those suits hanging in the window. And I was like, 'yeah man, you mean one of those five thousand dollar suits' ha haaa. Man.
Me: Ha, yeahhhh.
Dude: But man, it gets cold there!
Me: [nods] Very true, very true.
Dude: Well Chicago. Chicago, that's cool. How long you been here, you like it?
Me: About two months. It's... okay [laughs].
Dude: You move here alone?
{smoooth}
Me: Nope, I'm married.
Dude: Maaaan! All the good ones are taken [chuckles and shakes head]. Wow. Well, I was wondrin'.
Me: Yeahhh, sorry.
Dude: Well, you can't blame me for trying, you're very attractive.
Me: [cringing, shakes head and looks down] Ehhh, thank you.
Dude: You can not blame me for tryin'.
Me: [shakes head] I don't blame you for trying.
Dude: So you guys move here for work?
Me: Yeah, for my husband's job.
Dude: Man, married [shakes his head again]. Well, that's cool. So I don't suppose I can ask you for your number?
Me: [cringing again, shakes head] Ehh, I'm sorry. I just... I don't think he'd appreciate that very much.
Dude: So I can't hook up with you, you got any friends I can hook up with?
Me: Not really, I mean I just moved here, I don't really know anyone, sorry.
Dude: You sure I can't take you to breakfast? I mean, just to have some female company would be nice.
Me: [feeling sort of sorry] Thank you, I really can't.
Dude: Well, I had to try, I had to try. [extends his hand] I'm Ken, by the way.
Me: [shakes his hand] Allison.
Dude: It's nice to meet you. [steps back] Sooo... you're like... 21? [staring hard]
Me: Ha ha ha ha ha, [shakes head] no.
Dude: Not 21? ...Older than 21 [raises eyebrows]?
Me: Yes, older. I'm 27.
Dude: [shakes head] You don't look 27.
Me: Hmm, thank you?
Dude: Well, I am a LOT older than you.
Me: Oh yeah?
Dude: Yeah.
Me: Like... 35 maybe?
Dude: [chuckles, grins] Bless your heart. I knew I liked you [chuckles]. I'm 43.
Me: No waaay.
Dude: [gets out his drivers license and passes it to me]
Me: [quickly glances at the card] Huh. You don't lie.
{after about 10 minutes of this awkward small talk, some of which involving his work and his sisters and a random story about receiving a dental cleaning down in Mexico, my bus finally pulls up}
Dude: Well, it's nice to meet you... You suuuure I can't get your number???
Me: Ha ha, I'm sure. It was nice to meet you.
Dude: Maybe I'll see you around here again?
Me: Maybe, you never know. It was nice talking to you. [gets on the bus]
Dude: It was nice talking to you, too. Take care, Allison.
[The doors to the bus close and I turn around to see the female bus driver giving me a knowing smirk. Yep, I turned down a free breakfast.]

Ch ch ch ch changes...

Jeeze Louise, I've been neglectful lately. A lot has changed since my last post, but I'd say the highlights include relocating from Chicago, Illinois to Houston, Texas and getting married. That last part is a bit of a long story and I promise to tell it in full detail soon.

For now, here's a nice book I recently made for a friend of a friend...

Pretty! (It's a dragonfly).

Random Review: The Vicious Kind

I had every intention of watching this movie while I distractedly carved stamps and made notecards. One of the major reasons I chose it was because Netflix categorized it as a "comedy" and I figured it would be much easier to multi-task with something not-too-serious being played in the background. Let me state right here and now: this film is most certainly NOT a comedy! As with most indie flicks, there are inevitably moments of real-life awkwardness that might cause you to smile nervously, but make no mistake about it – The Vicious Kind leans much much closer to the drama end of the genre spectrum.

The Vicious Kind begins with Caleb Sinclaire (played by Adam Scott), quietly distraught in the booth of a diner, while he waits for his younger brother Peter (Alex Frost) to return to the table. From the get-go, it's obvious that our main character (or who we assume to be our main character) is a guy with some issues. At first, I find it difficult to care about someone who is... well, kind of an asshole. But the story unfolds, and we find that Caleb is more complicated and vulnerable than previously thought. Caleb has grudgingly agreed to drive Peter and Peter's new girlfriend, Emma (Brittany Snow), to Caleb and Peter's home for Thanksgiving. Despite the fact that Caleb feels the need to protect his brother from so-called "whores" (a term he applies to all women) and dissuade him from dating Emma, he finds himself becoming increasingly infatuated with her.

The Vicious Kind has no easy answers. The characters are all complex and deeply flawed, and I found myself questioning whether feeling sympathy for them was the "right" thing to do. Adam Scott does an amazing job of being misanthropic while still being totally defenseless, and Brittany Snow (though I only knew her as Gossip Girl's very blonde Lily Rhodes) turns out to be no slouch either – that girl can cry like a pro! The acting alone is reason enough to watch The Vicious Kind. Bonus points for featuring J.K. Simmons as the slightly dysfunctional yet likable dad.

*Warning: Don't watch this film with your parents – The sex-scenes will just make you feel weird. (Don't say I didn't warn you).

Random Review: Kinamand

Lately, I've been really disinterested in the prospect of watching American-made films. I think it has something to do with the limited talent pool. Don't get me wrong, there are plenty of fantastic American actors (and fantastic American movies), but sometimes I want to watch a movie and NOT see the same svelte bodies and stretched, airbrushed faces over and over and over again.

Kinamand (Chinaman) is a Danish story about an uninspired working-man plumber named Keld (played by Bjarne Henriksen) whose fatigued wife (played by Charlotte Fich) ups and leaves him one day. The confused and mildly maladroit Keld starts frequenting the Chinese restaurant down the street and befriends the restaurant owner, Feng (Lin Kun Wu). Feng offers a solution to Keld's financial woes (a result of divorce expenses): marry Feng's younger sister, Ling (Vivian Wu), whose visa is expiring and must get married to stay in the country. In return, Feng will pay Keld a significant sum.

Kinamand is a really sweet story, without being saccharine, and the characters are totally believable (I suppose it helped that my Chinese-speaking roommate assured me of the legitimacy of their accents). I loved the fact that the characters were not black-and-white portrayals but rather, real human beings with shifting emotions and reactions. The strongest element of the film, however, is definitely the subtle intricacies of the characters' interactions. Honestly acted, beautifully filmed, extremely well-written. En stor nydelse!

Erika's B-Day

(forgot to upload this little illustration I made for Erika's

birthday music mix until now, but anyway yay cake!)

RunRunRunRun

So I don't usually talk about my fitness goals on here (mostly because I feel ashamed of how pathetically amateur I would sound). But in the midst of an unusual burst of optimism, I feel the need to gush.

Today I went running. In Chicago. In February. Did I mention it's pretty cold here? Anyway, I should point out a few things before you're tempted to yank the horn that I am currently tooting on right out of my clenched fists. I give you exhibit a: I have always hated running. And most athletic activities in general. And I have always envisioned myself as "the fat kid". I don't say this in an effort to elicit an "ohhh", but rather to further point out how our perceptions of ourselves and our abilities are not always accurate (and in fact, usually are not accurate at all). Exhibit b: I grew up in Arizona. Well... sort of. I lived in Arizona until I was 8 years old, then I lived the rest of my childhood in upstate New York. But... I have a theory on this one (and feel free to call me crazy, that's totally your God-given right). I have theorized from my own observations and experiences, that a person's ability to tolerate extreme temperatures is entirely dependent on the climate they were exposed to as a small child. Take me, for example. I feel like I am always cold. Always! And actually, further evidence suggests that my "normal" body temperature (ie: the temperature of my body when I am not inflicted with fever) is between 97º and 98º (there's a lot of fascinating info on body temperatures... For example, I had no idea the average body temperature for people living in Russia is 97.9º!) Then there's Ben (who grew up in the Dakotas and northern Wisconsin). He is always overheated. I actually think a lot of this has to do with the circulatory system of the two sexes, but the point is I do not deal with cold weather very well. And finally exhibit c: I am not the most motivated person (frowny face ). But every now and then, I surprise myself.

This year I was extremely adamant to write an official 'New Year's Resolutions' list, because if I've learned anything from previous years, it's that writing something down doesn't make it so. So this year I have a new strategy: I'm going to keep my goals at the front of my mind, stop focusing on numbers, and pay more attention to how I feel. No more weigh-ins or measurements. And no more beating myself up! I'm well aware of what's good for me and what's bad for me, and I know what makes me feel better. Around my high school years, I became increasingly aware of the body image issue. And I always thought there was some secret floating around that I wasn't allowed to know, some unmentionable way of living that all the pretty, thin girls knew about and weren't telling me. And now I know it's more complicated than that. There are genes, body-type determinants, activity-levels, nutrition factors, etc. etc. etc. And I really think there are too many things to do in life than waste time worrying about it. So here's to the new year (only 2 months late), here's to living life, and here's to listening to our bodies. If you pause to listen, I think you'll find they can tell you a lot.

:::Please Enjoy a Brief Intermission Whilst I Sob Uncontrollably:::

A friend and fellow-designer (thanks, John!) just posted a link on facebook about a really upsetting website. Don't worry - it's not porn or violence or nudity. It's something much worse. It is... Logocare. I'm going to go ahead and provide a link to their webpage, but I'm only doing so in an effort to reveal to you just how terrible it is. I trust that you're a smart, level-headed person and that you will not give in to the dark evil of cheap, fast branding.

(holding breath)... here.

It's pretty obvious to a trained eye that they don't know what the eff they're doing. I mean...

here:

(what the... WHAT IS EVEN GOING ON HERE!? Is that supposed to be broccoli hanging off the 'g' there???)

and here:

(I can just hear it - "what will make this logo look really cool.... OH I KNOW! LET'S USE A BUNCH OF FREAKING GRADIENTS!!")

as for the website itself:

(I wasn't aware that newsletters came in the 'trapezoidal' shape, but whatever, I'm no mathematician)

This kind of thing is so upsetting to me because I fear that an uncomfortably large portion of the population truly cannot tell the difference between an effective logo and utter crap. And this website (and the people behind it) are taking full advantage of that fact (not to mention the fact that our pockets have become rather shallow these days). Hey, I understand that people are simply not able to shell out as much as they used to (preaching to the freakin' choir), but you really do get what you pay for. And when services like these make it increasingly difficult for designers with legitimate college degrees, experience, and creative expertise to find work, it's all the more insulting.

A logo is the face of a company, the first thing you see, the identity of an organization. Can you find someone who will design you a logo for twenty bucks in under 24 hours? Absolutely. Will it withstand the test of time and effectively represent your company with grace, dignity, and fortitude? Hell, no. What people don't seem to realize is that a logo (and good design in general) is not just a pretty picture. An effective design has hours of thought behind it, research, painstaking attention to detail. So how can a person put together a good design quickly and for little-to-no pay? They can't.

And now... I will get off my soapbox, curl up in the fetal position and have a little cry.

Obsessed With: Treehouse Point

...Tell me this image doesn't make you swoon. I stumbled onto Treehouse Point (located twenty two miles outside of Seattle, Washington) through one of my favorite blogs, "A Cup of Jo" and now I am totally obsessed. The idea of living in trees has always been really appealing to me. In middle school, I got to move into my older sister's room when she went off to college. The room was at the end of the house on the top floor, and next to the bed were windows that looked out onto our backyard. The trees that had been growing there were quite old, their statuesque figures branching close to the house. In the summer, I would stay up late at night and open the windows, imagining I was living in some sort of treehouse bungalow.

It reminds me of the "Tree World" in Myst or Endor. Totally crunchy and totally romantic :)

[Photo: jasfitz]

Crafting Eden, Here I Come!

This weekend, I'm heading to the CHA (Craft & Hobby Association) Winter Convention & Trade Show, and I'm super excited. It's the world's largest professional craft and hobby show, will feature over 600 exhibitors, and did I mention it's in Southern California!? Take that, Chicago! Just to get an idea of how much awesome arts and crafts supplies I'll be able to oogle (yes, I said 'oogle'), check out the exhibitor directory. That's a LOT of stuff. Thank goodness I don't have the right kind of licenses to purchase anything.

Anyway, should be a fun time. I'll be sure to come back with a head full of ideas and craft-gadget-envy (and photos, of course).

Craftacular Weeks Ahead!

So this year, I have given myself the challenge of creating all my gifts from scratch. That's right, all handmade! I'm now realizing this was perhaps an overly ambitious goal considering the fact that I have completed 2.5 (out of 7) and need to get everything done before I head to my parents house in Tucson this Wednesday. So yeah, less than two days to make 4.5 more things. My head might explode.

But... this means that I'll be putting up all my projects (pictures and how-to's) in the weeks following Christmas. Hooray! Sewing, printing, stamping, jewelry-making, etc. Stay tuned!

A Delightful Apple Gone Wrong

It's 2 o'clock in the afternoon, a gray day outside. "Time for an apple," I think. A small bruised spot on its surface persuades me to make a v-shaped cut. Oh joy, it looks like a heart!

After a few bites, I notice a rather dark, "earthy" flavor. But hey, I like mushrooms and other pungently flavored foods, so I carry on and nibble my way to the core. Until I accidentally bite into the core and notice its unusually dark appearance. Because I am curious and investigative by nature, I slice clear through what's left of the apple and find this:

...delightful... well, at least it wasn't a worm.